No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
