is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
