respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize