My first STD was from a foam party
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Randomize
