she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
