Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize