My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
My breasts were aching with rage.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize