No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
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