He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
