There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
