3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
