Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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