Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I need a hoe opinion
go on
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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