Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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