Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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