i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
