My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Randomize
