u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Randomize
