Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
