They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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