direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
