Your face is a jimmy john
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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