i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Randomize
