I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Randomize
