I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
