Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Panties = found
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