we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
