Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
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