He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Randomize
