I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
