There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
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