Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
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