i don't like sucking hair
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
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