I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
