Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize