Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
This couple is walking their pig around campus
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
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