In America we eat man semen.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
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