so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
