Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Randomize
