just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
