I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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