ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
