I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Did I show you my penis last night?
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Randomize
