I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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