I want to make a zoo with you.
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
