He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize
