I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
