I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
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