when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I think your dad took our porno
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
