Your tits are I can't wait for
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
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