well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
