New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
