A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
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