I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
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