why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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