can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Randomize
