Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Randomize
