just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
