ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
