we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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