I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Randomize
