I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
