i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
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