she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Randomize
